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I personally never thought that I'd feel this way, but I find myself in this situation. I'm almost 43 years old and I'm lonely. After working all day, all I have are four white walls and a computer screen to look at. I never did anything wrong, and have two beautiful children, but most days I spend the evenings looking at four white walls and a computer screen. Why this happened is a long story, but it did happen.
So looking at the walls, I started to think of how to possibly get out of the situation. The trouble is that I'm in love with two women with baggage. One of them has baggage of my own making (two children and fuck knows what else), and the other a splurting gibbering childhood boyfriend that was rejected and now through his crying and thus making her feel sorry for him, the poor soul. I suppose the term "man up" has not yet entered his vocabulary. Shitty little Spanish men.
It's no wonder Napoleon ran all over them and that Sir Francis Drake sacked not only the Armada but also Cadiz (twice), nor the fact that in the capital city of the Basque country - Vitoria, in the main square, they have a massive statue of an Irish born man, the Duke of Wellington, nor the fact that if you go to the Cape of Trafalgar, the viewing point of the most important naval battle in history you can't even see a plaque to commemorate the demolition of the Spanish and French navies, there is just a lighthouse. We commemorate our victories and our successes, but not the Spanish. Shit men that should never have the word "hombre" associated with them, as "girl" would be more apt. My daughter would cry less.
So, what to do? Be a Saxon and wield an emotional axe at both? That could be done, but probably not a fruitful exercise either way. Forget the two? The first can't be forgotten, as there are two little ones involved. Maybe at the end of the day it's just better to be lonely and stare at four blank white walls, or paint them black and then look at four blank black walls, at least then the room would reflect the feeling in my heart.
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